Being a Christian mom is not as easy as some people think. Parenting in itself is one of the most difficult, yet rewarding, jobs ever. Add into the equation a special needs child and there become days when you wonder what you did to deserve this! Don’t get me wrong: I would not trade this life God has given me for anything because I know this is a journey to make me into the mother HE wants me to be!
I started out on this journey of motherhood twenty five years ago. Fourteen years ago we added our third and last child to our family. Who could ask for more than the three beautiful, happy, healthy children and a wonderful, supportive husband I had been blessed with. I was content with my weekly church visits and dutiful prayers I sent up. Life was good. Or so I thought.
Six years ago, that seemingly perfect world was shattere
d when my baby, then a vibrant eight year old little boy, became sick with a stomach virus. Within seven hours he was pronounced dead in the trauma room at the Children’s Hospital. But God wasn’t through and his heart started beating again on its own! Praise God, our little boy was still holding on! However, he was left with severe brain damage and we were told that he would forever be in a vegetative state. Let me tell you, all things are possible with God! The doctors pronounced our son dead; God said it wasn’t time. The doctors said he would never open his eyes or make a sound; God has let him do all these things and more. The doctors said to pull the plug and let him go; God said “Be still and know that I am God”!
Has this been an easy journey? Absolutely not! There are many days that I just don’t want to get out of the bed. There are days that my faith wavers and yes, even fails me completely. God is forever having to pick me back up and restoring me. I get mad and ask “Why”? Do I get an answer? Sometimes, but not always the one I want! I just have to trust my Heavenly Father and know that He knows what He is doing, and He doesn’t need my help or input! So, here I am living day to day, growing closer to my Lord through every triumph and trial I face. Being a mother to a child who is so fragile makes me see the world in a different light. I do not take the little things for granted. Our next breath is a gift from God. Praise Him for it!